I have procrastinated about writing this to you for 45 years. Even now, my heart is pounding and my foot is tapping. I am angry at you and I’m angry at me.

We speak of this over decaf
coffee, over countless afternoons
as the sunlight simmers, as the shadows
stretch slowly like a cat across the carpet

Over the years I chastised myself for being naïve, for inviting him to stay the weekend. That second guessing is what stopped me from telling anyone and stopped me from reporting it to the campus police.

Show me a man who has never pushed when someone said no

Let’s face it; the more someone tells us we’re special, especially if we haven’t heard that message consistently, the more likely we are to believe it. I did.

Christ

He ripped me a new one.